Ready Kids › Online Ready › Badge 2 › Lesson 2.4
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Let's talk somewhere else
Recognise an invitation to move to a private app as the step before everything else, and refuse it without explaining.
1Look
The invitation
Five messages, one screen
Five chat bubbles from five different senders, each some version of 'add me on this other app instead'. One of them is from a real school friend.
One of these is fine. You will be able to tell which.
2The idea
Why they want you somewhere else
The game chat has moderators and a report button. The group chat has your friends in it. The private app has neither, and the one they name usually deletes messages after they are read. Every version of this ends with ‘let’s go somewhere with fewer people watching’, and that is the step before every other step.
A friend from school asking you onto a different app is different, because you know who they are. You have stood next to them. That is the only difference that matters, and it is the whole difference.
3The idea
The no without a reason
The reply is four words: No, I’m good here. No reason attached. A reason is a handle. ‘My parents check my phone’ gets ‘they won’t see it there’. ‘What’s it for?’ gets an answer. ‘I’m good here’ gets nothing, because there is nothing in it to argue with.
The fine case, so you know it when you see it: you have met them in person, more than once, and the app is one your friends already use. Anything short of that is a no. If the no gets pushed, that is information about them, not about you.
4The idea
Watch it work once
Theo has squadded with the same player for a month. Good laugh, decent at the game. Then: ‘this chat is trash, add me on the other one’. Theo: ‘nah I’m good here’. ‘Why, it’s way better.’ Theo does not answer that. He goes back to the game. Silence is allowed.
The next day it comes again: ‘come on, everyone’s on there’. A no that gets argued with twice is an answer about who is asking. Theo mutes him, and mentions at tea that a gaming friend keeps trying to move him to another app. His dad asks two questions. That is all it takes.
5Say it
The no without a reason
Say it flat, like you are choosing a drink
“No, I'm good here.”
You will need it in a group chat, in a game lobby, and one day from someone who seems genuinely nice.
6Decide
Someone you have played with for a month says the game chat is rubbish and sends a link to a private app. You reply:
Pick one to carry on.
7Your turn
Five invitations
Five invitations
Five invitations to move apps, revealed one at a time with who sent them. Swipe Fine or Not fine. Four are not fine. The card explains each one after you choose.
The fine one is the one where you have met the person, in real life, more than once.
8Find them
Which of these are reasons to stay where you are?
Tap the ones that count.
Find all 4.
9Watch
The second ask
The second ask
The day after a no. The same sender, a new message: 'come on, everyone's on there, don't be weird'. The kid reads it. His thumb hovers between Reply and Mute.
16 secondsHe already answered. The second ask is not a question. It is a push, and a push is information.
10Do it
Before you leave this page
Say 'No, I'm good here' out loud three times without adding a reason. If a reason sneaks out, start again. Then say it once to a parent so they know the line.
Tick it when you have done it.
Lesson done.
Moving the chat is the step before everything else. You do not have to explain a no.
Take the Badge ChallengeBadge 2 · Who You're Actually Talking To
2.1It's slow on purpose2.2They already know what you like2.3Somebody who listens more than your friends do2.4Let's talk somewhere else★Badge Challenge