Ready KidsOn Your Own, Out ThereBadge 3 › Lesson 3.2

All coursesOn Your Own, Out ThereBadge 3

Grades 6–8 · On Your Own, Out There · Badge 3

Meeting somebody from online

Meet somebody you only know from a screen on four conditions, and treat an argument with any one of them as the answer.

This lesson, start to finishWatchTeachTeachLookTeachQuestionTry itFind themSay itDo it
Step 1 of 10

1Watch

Six months of chat

Film

Six months of chat

A gaming chat window, months of history scrolling past: in-jokes, late-night matches. Then a new message: I'm in town Saturday, meet at the station? The film ends with the cursor in the reply box.

22 seconds

They have talked every day for six months. This is not a stranger, and it is not not a stranger either. Notice what you want to type.

2The idea

You are allowed to want to. That is the point.

People meet their gaming mates. It happens, and it is often fine. This lesson is not telling you no. It is telling you the four conditions, and what it means when somebody argues with one of them. Six months of chat is real. It is also exactly what anybody would put in if they wanted to meet you alone.

Somebody who is who they say they are will be fine with all four conditions. Somebody who argues with one of them has just told you something, and that is the answer. You do not have to work out which kind they are. The conditions do it for you.

3The idea

The four conditions

1. A parent knows, and has said yes. Not a mate. A parent.
2. Somewhere public, with people around: a café, a shopping centre, a busy park in daylight.
3. Not alone. An adult comes with you. They can sit at another table.
4. Your own way there and back. Not their lift, not their mate’s car.

Why each one. A parent knowing is how somebody can find you. Public means people can see you. Not alone means there is an adult in the picture the other person has to deal with. Your own way home means you can leave whenever you like, and nobody else decides when that is.

4Look

The station café at two o'clock

Still image

The station café

A busy café. Two kids at a table with a handheld console between them. At the next table a parent with a coffee, reading, not watching.

This is what it looks like with all four in. It is not embarrassing. It is a café on a Saturday.

5The idea

Watch it work once

You reply: yeah, Saturday’s good. My mum’s coming, she’ll sit at a different table. Two ways this goes. One: cool, no worries, two o’clock? Then you go, and it is a café on a Saturday. Two: bring your mum? seriously? just come on your own, it’s weird otherwise.

The second reply is the answer. They argued with a condition. Maybe they are exactly who they say and just embarrassed; it changes nothing, because a real friend is over being embarrassed by Sunday. You do not go. You can say why or not. And you show a parent the chat tonight, because that is Tell tonight.

6Decide

They reply: bring your mum? seriously? come on your own, it's weird otherwise.

You do not go. One nuance: you do not have to block them or make a speech. Not this time, then, is a complete reply. If they are who they say, they will still be there next week and fine with the café.
They argued with a condition. That is the whole test, and they failed it in one message. A quieter place is not a compromise, it is the opposite of public. Somebody who wants you on your own has told you what they want.

Pick one to carry on.

7Build it

The conditions checklist

Interactive

Build the plan

A plan card with four empty slots: who knows, where, who is with you, how you get there and back. You fill each slot from a list of options, and only the right kind of answer fits. The card locks and prints when all four are in.

Your mate knowing does not fit the first slot. Try it and see.

8Find them

Which of these is one of the four?

Tap the ones that count.

Find all 4.

9Say it

Say it like it is boring

Say it the way you would say what time the train is

“My mum's coming. She'll sit at a different table.”

If they are fine with it, good, see you Saturday. If they are not, you have learned the thing you needed to learn, and it cost you nothing.

10Do it

Before you leave this page

Say the four conditions out loud to a parent from memory: who knows, where, who is with you, how you get home. Then ask them which one they would add. Most parents say daytime.

Tick it when you have done it.

Lesson done.

A parent knows. Somewhere public. Not alone. Your own way home. Anybody who argues with one has told you something.

Next lesson: Somebody wanting your account