You are not in trouble and it is not your fault

1Look

The message under the fear

Every threat about you being in trouble is really a request. Read it that way.

2The idea

The line this whole track exists for

You are not in trouble, and it is not your fault. The adults who do this are practised. They have done it to hundreds of kids exactly as sensible as you, and they are good at it because they do it all day. Being tricked by a professional is not a character flaw. It is what professionals are for.

They had a script. You had a Tuesday. The police, the apps and every adult who deals with this treat you as the person it was done to, because that is what you are. The only person who wants you to feel like the one in trouble is the one sending the messages.

3The idea

What telling actually looks like

1. Pick the adult. A parent first. If not, any adult you named last lesson: a relative, a teacher, a school counsellor.
2. Say the sentence. Something’s happened online and I need help tonight.
3. Show the screenshots. You do not have to describe anything.
4. Let them take it. The report, the app, the police if they decide. That is their part now.

The worst ten seconds are the ten seconds before you say it. After that, it is two people’s problem instead of one, and one of them is a grown-up. Every kid who has done this says the same thing afterwards: it was smaller than they thought once it was said.

4The idea

Watch it work once

Maya tells her mum. Her mum goes white, says ‘oh Maya’, and for about a minute looks angry. Maya nearly leaves the room. She stays. Her mum’s second face arrives: one arm round her, the other hand already opening the app to find Report. ‘You are not in trouble. Show me the rest.’

The next morning her mum has reported the account and rung the school. Nothing gets posted. The sender is gone within two days. The week after was better than the week before, which is what always happens, and the opposite of what the messages said would happen.

5Your turn

Three people who told

The telling is always the worst ten seconds. The week after is always better than the week before.

6Decide

You have told your mum. She is upset. What does her being upset mean?

7Say it

Say it before you need it

You will not believe it the first time. Say it anyway. It gets truer with practice, and it is true now.

8Find them

Which of these are true?

Tap the ones that count.

9The idea

If the first adult gets it wrong

Sometimes the first grown-up reacts badly, and stays there. It happens. It is about them, and about how frightened they are, not about you. A bad reaction from one adult does not make the line untrue. It means you tell the second name on your list.

A school counsellor, another relative, a teacher you like, or a children’s helpline, which is free and open all night in most countries. You are not asking for a favour. You are handing over something that is theirs to deal with, and there is more than one person whose job that is.

10Do it

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