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Grades 6–8 · Online Ready · Badge 3

The ask, however it's dressed up

Recognise a request for a private picture whatever it is disguised as, and have one reply ready.

This lesson, start to finishWatchTeachTeachTeachTry itQuestionSay itFind themLookDo it
Step 1 of 10

1Watch

Six openings

Film

Six openings

Six short chat clips, one after another. A dare. A trade for skins. 'If you liked me you would.' A hack scare. 'Everyone does it.' A blurred picture arriving first with 'your turn' under it. Each cuts before anyone replies.

28 seconds

They look different. They are all the same message.

2The idea

Name it plainly

Somebody asks you for a picture you would not want anyone else to see: a nude, or close to it. It happens to a lot of people your age, boys as much as girls, and it almost never starts as a plain ask. It starts as a dare, a trade, a relationship, a scare, or a picture of their own.

The dressing changes. The request underneath does not, and neither does the answer. If you have already sent one, the next three lessons are for you, and nothing in them is a telling-off. This one is about seeing the ask coming.

3The idea

The six dressings

The dare. ‘Bet you wouldn’t.’ ‘Prove you’re not a kid.’
The trade. Skins, coins, a gift card, money. ‘I’ll send you something first.’
The relationship. ‘If you actually liked me.’ ‘Everyone in a relationship does.’
The scare. ‘Your account’s been hacked, send a pic to verify it’s you.’
The crowd. ‘Everyone in the group has done it.’
The picture first. One arrives. ‘Your turn.’

Under all six is the same sentence: send me a picture of you. A dare is a request with a bet on it. A trade is a request with a price on it. Going first is a request with a debt on it that you never agreed to. Take the dressing off and it is the same ask.

4The idea

Watch it work once, and the reply

Jamie has chatted with someone for three weeks. Funny, easy, into the same game. Then a picture arrives, and under it: ‘your turn’. It feels like fairness. It feels like a test of whether Jamie is cool. Jamie takes the dressing off: this is the ask. It was always going to be the ask.

The reply is one line and then nothing: No. And I’m done here. Then leave the chat. No arguing, because there is nothing to argue about, and every reply is a door left open. Jamie owes nobody a picture. The one that arrived may not even be of the person who sent it.

5Your turn

Six openings, one thing underneath

Interactive

Strip it back

Each of the six openings, one at a time. Drag away the dressing (the dare, the trade, the compliment) and see the same plain request left underneath every one. The card lines all six up at the end.

Once you have seen it six times, it is hard to unsee.

6Decide

Someone you have chatted with for three weeks sends a picture of themselves first and says 'your turn'. What is this?

Right. Going first is a move, not a debt. You do not owe anyone a picture because they sent one, and the picture they sent may not even be of them.
It is built to feel like fairness, or a test. Both of those make you feel you owe something. You owe nothing. Someone sending a picture first is one of the six openings, not an exception to them.

Pick one to carry on.

7Say it

The one reply

Say it once, flat

“No. And I'm done here.”

Then you leave the chat. You do not argue about it, because there is nothing to argue about.

8Find them

Which of these are the ask, in disguise?

Tap the ones that count.

Find all 5.

9Look

The card

Still image

Six openings, one line

A single card. Six short chat bubbles in a column: the dare, the trade, the relationship, the scare, the crowd, the picture first. Under all six, one line in plain type: send me a picture of you. Under that, the reply: No. And I'm done here.

This card is the whole lesson. If you remember one picture from this badge, make it this one.

10Do it

Before you leave this page

Say out loud, once, exactly what you would reply. Not what you think you should say; what you would actually type. Then close the page.

Tick it when you have done it.

Lesson done.

Six ways of asking. One thing underneath. One reply.

Next lesson: The first sixty seconds after