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People you know
Hold the door rule and the Two Questions with people you already know, and name who you would tell.
1Look
Four faces you know
Four faces you know
A neighbour with a dog, a coach in a tracksuit, an older kid from the street, and an uncle beside a car, all smiling.
Nothing is wrong with this picture. That is what makes this lesson harder than the last three.
2The idea
Said plainly
Most kids who get hurt get hurt by somebody they already know, not by a stranger. That is not said to scare you. It is said because the last three lessons were about strangers, and you deserve the whole picture.
The door rule does not bend for a neighbour, a coach, an older friend or a relative. Nobody comes in includes people you like. That is not a judgement of them. It is a rule that does not have to judge anybody, which is exactly the point.
3The idea
Watch what somebody does, not what they look like
Nobody looks like anything. So you watch behaviour. Four things worth noticing from anyone, however nice: gifts that are secret or just for you; asking you to keep something from your parents; wanting to be alone with you and arranging it; knowing a lot about when you are home on your own.
One of these by itself is usually nothing. Grandad gives presents. It is the secret that matters. Anything you are asked to keep from your parents fails the second Question before you have finished asking it.
4The idea
Tomas, the neighbour, and the Two Questions
Mr Reyes, who Tomas likes, knocks at four: your mum said I could pop in and fix the tap. Two Questions. Do I have permission? No, Mum did not say. Would I be happy telling Mum about this after? Yes, because what he is about to say is: Mr Reyes came, I said come back when you’re in.
He says it through the door. Mr Reyes says no problem and goes. That is what a fine person does when a kid says no. If he had argued, that is the one who keeps knocking, and you already know that lesson.
5Decide
Your coach messages: I'm outside, your mum said I can drop the kit in. Let me in for a sec.
Pick one to carry on.
6Say it
To somebody you like
Say it warm and normal, not sorry
“You can come back when my mum's home.”
A fine person hears that and says sure. That reply is how you know.
7Try it
The dial, four people you know
Four people you know
Four people you already know, each doing one thing: a neighbour with a secret present, a coach messaging at night, an uncle at the door, an older kid inviting you over when nobody is in. Set the Feeling Dial, then choose what you do.
Watch for the one where the dial says Fine and the behaviour says something else. The behaviour wins.
8Find them
Which of these are worth telling a parent about, even if the person is nice?
Tap the ones that count.
Find all 4.
9The idea
One grown-up for the grown-ups
Tell tonight is the fourth Move. But if the thing is about another grown-up, you need a name ready: a parent, usually, and one more. An aunt, a teacher, a friend’s mum. In case it is about the first one, or they are not around.
You will not be in trouble for telling about an adult. A grown-up who is doing nothing wrong is not harmed by you telling somebody about them. That is the test. If telling would ruin it, it was not something you should have been keeping.
10Do it
Before you leave this page
Say out loud the names of four grown-ups you would tell. Then say which one you would go to if the thing was about another grown-up. Tell a parent who you picked.
Tick it when you have done it.
Lesson done.
The rule does not bend for someone you know. Watch what they do, not who they are.
Take the Badge ChallengeBadge 2 · The Door and the Phone
2.1Nobody comes in2.2The one who keeps knocking2.3The phone2.4People you know★Badge Challenge