Ready Kids › Home Alone Ready › Badge 8 › Lesson 8.1

Grades 4–5 · Home Alone Ready · Badge 8

In charge of the house, not a parent

Say what you control and what you do not when you are home with a younger sibling.

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Step 1 of 9

1Look

Two on the sofa

Still image

Two on the sofa

An older kid and a younger one on a sofa, the younger one holding the remote, the older one looking at the clock on the wall.

One of these is in charge. Not of the other one. Of the house.

2The idea

The honest framing

When you are home with a younger one, you are responsible for two things: the house (the door, the stove, the lists) and keeping them safe (where they are, what they are near). That is a real job. It is not the same job as being their parent.

You are in charge of the house and their safety. You are not in charge of them. That means you do not punish, you do not decide bedtime, you do not have to win. When they will not listen, that is a message to a parent, not a fight.

3The idea

Mine and not mine

Mine: the door locked, the snack, keeping them off the stove and out of the bath, who comes in (nobody), what happens if they are hurt.
Not mine: making them do homework, what they call you, punishing, deciding if they can go to a friend’s.

The not-mine list gets one move: message a parent. Sam won’t come in from the garden. Lila’s hitting me. Say out loud what you actually control, and hand the rest over by message. Handing it over is not giving up. It is the job.

4The idea

Ruby and Max, one afternoon

Ruby is eleven, Max is six. Max wants to go next door. Not hers to decide: I’ll ask Mum. She messages. Meanwhile Max puts the kettle on. That is hers. She takes it off. Max calls her bossy. Not hers. She does not argue.

Mum replies: no, not today. Max sulks. Ruby lets him. Sulking is not a safety problem. The afternoon works because she only fought the fights that were hers.

5Try it

Mine, or not mine

Interactive

Ten situations

Ten things a younger one might do, one at a time. Drag each into Mine to handle or Not mine, message. The page shows the one move for each after you drop it.

About half go in Not mine. Most kids put too many in Mine, because being in charge feels like it should mean everything.

6Decide

Your little brother will not stop kicking the back door.

Message, and keep an eye on the door. The door is yours: it stays locked and it stays whole. Him being told off is not yours, and a parent can do it by phone in ten seconds with more effect than you can in ten minutes.

Sort it into mine and not mine. Sending him to his room is being a parent, and you are not one. Ignoring it walks away from the door, and the door is yours. The move is: watch the door, message a parent, let them do the telling.

Pick one to carry on.

7Say it

The sentence that ends most of it

Say it flat, not annoyed

“That's not mine. I'll ask Mum.”

It is how you hand over without giving in. You will say it a lot.

8Find them

Which of these are yours?

Tap the ones that count.

Find all 4.

9Do it

Before you leave this page

Agree with a parent what you are actually in charge of when you are home with your sibling. Write it as two lists, mine and not mine, and put it on the fridge.

Tick it when you have done it.

Lesson done.

You are responsible for the house and for keeping them safe. You are not their parent.

Next lesson: Arguments

Badge 8 · With a Younger One

8.1In charge of the house, not a parent 8.2Arguments 8.3If they are hurt ★Badge Challenge

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